Cove and Meadow

They’re here! They’re here ! Hallelujah they. are. here. .
Exhale …– What an emotional journey  it’s been the last 10 months.. I have so much relief now just knowing they’re earth side and here safe in my arms.
I will be sharing more, and of course their birth story // When I’m ready…. Keeping it sacred and still processing it all — feels like the right thing to do right now..

Introducing our two little gifts:

Cove and Meadow:

I’m so in love with these two precious gifts //  it’s seriously mad love.
I can’t stop staring and smelling and cuddling .. and I honestly can’t believe I made TWO babies and grew them and fit them in this body of mine. My womb, I’m pretty damn proud of it.

Here are their full names -

Meadow Nightingale Shine
Baby “A”  born at 11:58 pm on May. 5 2015  ( yup 05/05/15 — what a fun birthdate hey!? )  weighing 4 lbs 10 oz

Meadow is super sweet and calm. She is still such a bitty little thing that I feel like I have a real life doll. She prefers to sleep in my arms all night and I still have to pinch myself that I have another baby girl, and that Harlan has a sister…
Meadow ” came to me when I read an article about Paul Walker. His daughter’s name was Meadow and the moment I read it — it literally took my breath away. Every time I saw or heard that word/ name my heart would skip a beat, and Cove and Meadow —  hello don’t they just sound good together;)
” Nightingale “  is from a book  I read as a teenager ( To Hear a Nightingale ) . I found it at a garage sale on Pender Island and would read it every summer. It’s still one of my favourite books of all time and a beautiful love story that reflects so much of me and Steve’s..
” Shine “ is a recent addition. Levi came up with it and would tell people that’s what we were naming the baby girl. We kinda fell in love with it, and I have to say, well done Levi !


And the baby of the family –

Cove Huntington David

Baby” B”  born @ 12:01 am on May. 6th 2015 — yup different birth dates  !! What are the chances !?
Cove weighed 5 lbs 5 oz

Cove is exactly how he was in utero // content, calm, cooperative and  he also has this ” happy jolly soul ” when he opens his eyes,  and always looks like he’s smiling..
He has blonde wisps and we can’t decide if he looks like Levi or Dion because he’s kinda a mix of them both!
Ps: I forgot how intoxicating that boy/ Mama love is.
Covey we love you so !

Steve came up with ” Cove ” when we were vacationing on Pender Island last September ( I would find out I was pregnant when we came home from that trip )
{ — Side note : Pender Island is a place where I hold such fond childhood memories… My French grandparents lived there and it’s truly a magical  place. }

( above 3 images are cell phone pics )

I actually have a picture of the very moment ( above )  –  crazy enough.. We were on a little bridge that connects the two islands and we stopped to look at the sunset and take pictures. Steve said something about the sun in the ” cove ” and then immediately turned to me and said  ” Cove, that would be a cool name for a boy ” I have to agree.
Huntington ” is from Huntington beach. We vacationed there 3 years ago and fell in love with it.  Me and Steve always say we are gonna retire there one day..

And “ David ” ….This was not the name we intended for him to have, but in the middle of the first night
I was looking back at texts from my sister and she had written – “too bad the babies won’t be born tomorrow .. Do you know who’s birthday it is..?”
Secretly I had always wanted them born on my Mom’s birthday ( April. 28th, she passed away from Cancer 9 years ago )
But God knew.
It dawned on me right then, it was my Step Dad’s birthday. He too had also passed away from cancer in 09′.
I will never forget that moment in the middle of the night in the dark, with two babies on my chest and the silent sobs I cried.
Redemption. Pure redemption.
If there was ever a sign straight from heaven, it was then.
Only my close friends know exactly what this means to me.
I’ll leave it at that.

Lots of people ask us with clenched teeth – ” How’s it going ?”
To be honest, it’s going great.
I feel so filled up with love and joy and thankfulness to God for coveting all my prayers this pregnancy, for my 5 babies  who complete our life and family..
Dammit I just feel really friggen blessed.
Sure, look it //things are busy and sleep is few and far between, and getting out the door is a work out in itself.
But I wouldn’t change a thing.
Right here in this beauty and chaos is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I know by now this newborn stage is short and sacred, and babies don’t keep…
Soaking up my last newborn hurrah.
My last.
Still saying that with baited breath, and it still aches a little to think about it.
Grandbabies, yes I’ll have lots of those.

Some photos of the last 3 weeks –

The girls.

The boys.

Philly Twins { Gender Reveal Party }

When we found out it was twins, we both  agreed that we wanted to find out.
Now listen,  I am not someone who ever wants to know the gender of my babies before they’re born.
I love ” that moment”

You know,  this one :

” It’s –  a — GIRL!! “

( Black and white birth photos curtesy of the amazing Roxanna. J Photography )

And this one -

But let’s face it, learning there was two instead of one was a surprise enough… Plus I needed to be able to picture life, and our family and what that all was gonna look like…. Since these two threw me a bit of a curve ball;)
I also needed it emotionally.
To have the time to deeply bond in utero with these two little blessings…

Since I love a good party, and planning things.. I also loved the idea of being able to tell family and close friends all together at a gender reveal party.
Me and Steve found out when I was 19 weeks, a week before the party.
We told no one, not even the kids. Although it was special to share that between just him and I…  I also found it stressful!
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
 My girlfriend Joni told me she couldn’t see me that week because she knew the moment she saw me,  my face would tell it all, she’s totally right.

So I spent the week planning, crafting and nesting, three of my favourite things..

My new favourite way to send invitations is by making one on my computer, using a photo, adding text to it and simply sending it via text. No more messing around with email addresses, stamps etc!

I wanted everything to be white and neutral, and of course a bit whimsy and boho too;)
Dress: From one of my favourite business mama’s and who I am so blessed to work with:  Arrow and Lace designs
Harlan’s floral crown :
Yarn Garland from my friend: Confetti and Sparkle Party Shop
Star and Heart prints from amazing : KardzkoutureThe hearts represented girls and stars were boys
I grabbed some carnations from Costco and stuffed them into spray painted jars that I’ve used many times over for other parties.

I also added silver and gold to represent the different genders.I made a giant yarn weave for the dessert table backdrop from left over yarn and what have you in my craft bin at home.Cindy of Confetti and Sparkle party shop  made me a custom leather garland.
Cake topper ” Hello World ” is also from her store.
Cake from a local Mama : Kristin’s cakesCookies, like always from Pam’s cookiesWhen trying to figure out how to reveal, I knew I wanted to do something a little different then the cutting of the cake thing..
Confetti and sparkle shop pulled through again ! Black balloons filled full of confetti that me and Steve spent two
( yes two )  evenings cutting and stuffing. Balloon garland: Confetti and sparkle party shop.I made the kids ” G” and ” B” glittered letters to hang as necklaces and the adults wrote their guesses on tags. Fact: It is practically impossible to get a photo of my three kids looking at the camera…
Dion’s bow tie: Arrow and Lace Designs My floral crown is again from in the adult version. I love these floral crowns because you can use them more than once and Harlan’s the rest of the time is hung in her room as decor:)
I’m 20 weeks pregnant here

I was SO nervous to announce! I seriously cannot imagine finding out along with everyone ! It’s one of those special moments life only gives you a few times and man it was pretty special …..

So here we go first baby is a ——————————————-



Second baby is a  - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man it felt good to finally have our secret out and tell our closest friends and family all at the same time.

There was confetti everywhere!!!

We let all the little ones play in it for a while and to be honest, it was kinda magical…

Some history here now:
Before we found out we were having twins, actually before we found out we were expecting  me and Steve had both thought of a girl and boy name. I bought girl and boy clothes, and yes even had a moment where I thought ” aw I kinda want both..”
I also had a moment yet again with Dion where he came up to me on the couch and touched my belly and said
” Mom, there’s a girl and boy baby in your tummy ..? ”
( seriously might need to hire him out for physic analysis;)
Deep down I knew there was a boy and a girl in this belly of mine.
So when we found out I can’t either of us was surprised.
It’s already starting to feel like these two were always meant to be here.
We are SO excited and feel blessed beyond measure by these little gifts.
To follow up on my last post, and since many of you have asked, I am feeling so much better now.
At 14 weeks my nausea almost completely subsided ( the earliest and fastest in all my pregnancies yet )
I’m exhausted, yes.. But so far these two have been good to their Mama!

I also want to say that I wrote the last post based only on how I truly felt at that moment and time. Not because I’m proud of those feelings and thoughts, but because I think it’s important, that if you are going to share your story, it be the truth. When I was going through it I felt alone and mad and sick at myself for thinking those horrible things… So if you have or are reading  that or this and you’re going through the same emotions , I want to tell you your not alone, and it does get better.

I want to also mention that never, not once have I ever taken our fertility for granted.
So please don’t think that.
When I posted we were expecting online I felt sensitive to those struggling and seeing it and said a special prayer just for you.

Thank you to everyone who sent me nice messages and comments, your support, and prayers truly do mean so so much to us:)

When 3 become 5.

When I was pregnant with Harlan,  a part of me mourned every month that went by. It was to be our last. Three kids at the time,  seemed like a good number.  I thought for sure that if she was a girl,  my feelings of wanting another baby would somehow go away.
But they didn’t.
In fact when she was born I knew for certain, I was not yet complete. Something, someone was missing.
It showed up not only deep within my soul, but in the little things.
Signing Christmas cards, and then pausing after all our names and thinking I had forgotten a name, counting heads when we are out and always feeling like I had forgotten someone. Looking in the rearview mirror and seeing all those perfect little ones, who keep me busy, and exhausted on a good day… And still I longed for just ” one ” more.
So although I didn’t feel done, my husband did.
So I let it go, let the months slip by, and to be honest after she turned a year, the ache did start to fade just a little bit.
I see why people stop. Not because it gets easier, but because it gets harder.
But it was always there. Nudging and poking, and I knew that if we didn’t, it would be something I would regret for the rest of my life.

So we had the talks,  lots of them, and we decided to pray about it, and to be honest, God was quite quiet through it all.  I kept waiting for this big euphoric –  ’ God  is speaking to me ‘  moment, but I never got it….
More time passed and finally we made a decision to go for it, one month and if it was meant to be, it would.

And well…..

I was.
There you go, I  was going to have my complete family, one kid for each one of our hands, we were both happy.

We weren’t planning on telling anyone right away…  In a lot of ways I was scared for what people would think, 4 is definitely not for everyone.. and I was worried about how the news would blow over… We had already planned to do extended family photos, at the time I was literally, ” just” pregnant.
When I uploaded the photos I called Steve in to see… Dammit, our secret was not gonna be a secret for long –

It turns out that on baby number 4 ( ok, 4 &5 )  the moment that egg implants, you look 4 months pregnant.
It was time to share our news…

One thing that kept holding me back from just one more was the dreaded morning sickness.
Harlan’s pregnancy seriously almost took me down,
This time I came prepared with a plan. I went to the acupuncturist before, I went on herbs, I prayed, I did the whole mental  thing ” you will not get sick, you will not get sick.. ”
For the first few weeks I thought it was working.
Me and Steve went away together when I was 6 weeks, for the first time in 6 years to Chicago, and I felt great.
We held hands, we ate good food, and we spent some much needed husband and wife time together.

( All Iphone photos, most not even with a filter, I do apologize in advance;)

I  looked back on that trip in the early days after finding out and felt sick to my stomach about it.
That stupid girl didn’t know what was about to hit her.
This has always been one of my biggest life fears. Just when you think everything is honkey dorey,  that’s when excuse me, Sh*$ hits the fan.

We went in for a simple dating ultrasound,  I’ve had them with 2 of the others, Steve even came because it happened to land on a Saturday..
It was thanksgiving weekend, we had a slow morning, I braided Harlan’s hair, read books with the kids and we headed out..

Let’s rewind just a little bit now…
I am a girl that has never wanted twins.
Every time I’m in my last weeks of pregnancy, and when I’ve brought that new, single baby home I have thought it.
‘ Thank goodness it’s not twins.’
I ran into a friend a few days before my ultrasound, she has 4,  and I told her we were expecting.
Me and her have talked before about how baby #4 cannot be baby number 4 &5,  I even joked about it that day with her, pointing at my belly, ” haha! Don’t be twins!..”
I have one boob that partially works ( that’s a whole other blog post in itself ) and naively thought, ‘God would never do that to me. ‘

Around that time Dion, Harlan and I were playing when Dion spoke up out of the blue and said ” Mom, there’s two babies in your tummy..? ”
Instantly panicked I said; “No Dion, just one. ”
To which he replied, ” no there isn’t ”
We went back and forth and eventually I didn’t argue, it wasn’t 2, and oh my goodness I thought,  don’t ever say that again.

Being in dentistry for 11 years, and having had multiple ultrasounds throughout all my pregnancies,  I can see and read them well.
The moment she put the wand on my stomach, I saw it.
Two black spots.
I immediately asked ” it’s not twins is it ?! ”
She turned the screen away, and said no.
Sigh of relief.
She showed us a heart beat and continued on..
I actually thought she was almost done when she piped up ” So there does appear to be a flicker in here as well ”
I replied “What does that mean??!! It’s twins ???!! ”
” Yes” she said, ” It does appear to be that, yes. ”
To write about and think about that moment brings tears to my eyes and brings me back to that dark place.
I just remember looking Steve right in the eyes, and staring at him, wanting him to say something, anything.  Make it better, fix it, because that’s what he always does.
He has always been the fixer, the strong piece in my life.
But at that moment, he said nothing.
I walked out of there numb, that weird out of body experience that happens, happened.
I stared at my little flimsy paper she gave me, trying to comprehend what “A” and “B ” was going to mean in our life….

To someone reading this, it may sound dramatic, had this not happened to me, I possibly would have thought the same.
But talking with other twin Mama’s, it seems like everyone has their share of scary thoughts..
It’s just that, for some reason I’ve never heard it.

These next lines are hard hard to write – - – - -

I was literally shaking for 3 days after.
Every scary story, situation I heard and I remembered about twins and pregnancy  filled my thoughts.
Bed rest, incubators, tubes, all of it.
I wanted to go back to the life I thought I was gonna have before. I wanted one to go away, in fact parts of me clung to the hope that maybe one wouldn’t make it.
There were other moments where I wanted it all to go away. I had changed my mind. All I wanted was my 3. I was good with that, there was comfort in that, in the known and what I had right in front of me.
I was on auto pilot, we both were, and  the kids knew it.
Dion, my little intuitive angel wisped baby just kept hugging me.

Then we had the moment, where literally, me and Steve were fetal position on the couch facing each other when he said
” What are we doing here ?!  We haven’t been given a death sentence, we have been given the gift of life.”
He was right. Something in me changed slightly just then.
It was and will continue to be a journey…. Because right about the time we received the news about the twins I got terrible morning sickness.
Let’s take a moment to talk about that for a moment..

This time I was so emotionally damaged, I couldn’t tough it out or be strong like I had tried to be before. I was miserable.
For all you Mama’s out there, and you and I know who you are.
Morning sickness F’ing sucks.
I woke up literally, with the flu for 2 months straight. But there are no sick days, or stay in bed, or someone take your kids so you can get better. There is a ” suck it up buttercup ” mentality.
I called my sister one day and told her I needed her to bring me homemade chicken noodle soup.
She made it that day. She told me ” I know it’s bad, because you would and never have asked me for help. This is good for you, and your gonna need to start doing more of that.”
This much is true.
Always learning, always growing in this thing called life.

Today, at 19.5 weeks, I’m in a much better place with it all .
 As I write this one kicks and the other has the hiccups.
Like my friend Kacey, a twin herself  told me ” You swallowed the blue pill, you’ve been chosen to have an adventurous life.”

What  I know today –  -
God has blessed me beyond measure. He has chosen us to be parents to 5 children, there is no greater blessing …
As of last weekend, we know who these little people are who will complete our family.
Already,  I can’t imagine one without the other.

Jenine Maternity.

This is my beautiful friend, Jenine.
I really don’t know any way else to describe her other than – Rad As F*#k , sorry for the foul language but I am known to throw out a F – bomb one and a while;)
She’s the kinda gal that wakes up early, is never late, and when you call her up on a whim and say ” Hey, let’s go to Osoyoos today,  for the weekend.. by ourselves ..  with our  5 kids —  she doesn’t even falter, she’s in.
I like her a lot, and  I’m so excited I get to photograph her little man be born very soon !

We had planned something different originally for her maternity photos, but then we got rained out ( I know socking, seeing as it’s been sunny almost every day the last couple of weeks.. )
She decided that  she  actually wanted them done at the comfort of her house, and I just love the feel and evident love of these photos.. And let’s talk about that belly, and those babies of hers.. I mean..;)

Nicole maternity

I’ve known this Mama for 21 years.
Seriously,  I feel so old.
We have history and sacred memories just the two of us that I will hold dearly for as long as I live.
More on us, HERE. 
Because I just told her, I’m too tired to write anything heartfelt.
She totally got it.

                                                                                Baby not #3 I cannot wait to meet you !! xoxo

M o r e   i n f o